AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Foreshadowing?

I kid you not, as Wifey & I are driving to our 4 month baby appointment, I stop at a red light and have my future staring me in the face. I am convinced that I must begin training now to prepare my gag reflex for our future child's early contibutions to the world. Although Wifey finds my "gagflex" endearing now, I know it will quickly lose it's charm when she ends up with 2 messes to clean up rather than just one. To begin with, I think I'll start with a few reps of standing near dumpsters for 1 min. increments and work up to extended times in public porta potties. Stage 2 will consist of simulations (i.e. handling "gooey substances" like chili and potato salad while blindfolded in a freshly fertilized stable as Wifey blasts me in the face with spray from a water hose...or something like that). Stage 3...Game On! My mantra during this workout..."I will not spew on our baby".

1 comment:

Pat Chapman said...

truly truly I have never laughed so hard...can't seem to stop...tears in my eyes